If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
