I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
