I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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