Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
