YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
