I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
