There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
