Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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