I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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