therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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