Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
