having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
