I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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