why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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