why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
