I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
