I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
