I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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