She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
