It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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