i just had sex bonerless
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
