So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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