If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
