he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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