the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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