shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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