Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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