this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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