porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
