Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
