Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
