Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
