Welp...herpes.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
is it fun? or sober?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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