Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
