he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
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