U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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