Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
