i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
They took my balls.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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