my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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