I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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