we have officially lost it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
