Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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