i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
