We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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