I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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