yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
