It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
