Got a toothbrush?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
