it was like having sex with a tree stump
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
