I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
