the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
