I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
