this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
