i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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