Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
