Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
