haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
