Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
