This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
