No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
