I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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