Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
