Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
