In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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