Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
