I will die if light touches me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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