i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize