there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
