i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
