just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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