Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
