i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
