I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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