Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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