i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
