Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
